Good Bye 2011!!

I'm writing from Boston.  Got here earlier this week and was able to spend Christmas with Doug and his Family.  It's been a great trip but I'm also ready to get home. 

Almost two weeks ago I got one of the most devastating phone calls I could have received... My friend Alison passed away from a long battle with breast cancer.  It eventually spread to her lungs and was incurable.  As I have written before, she was my back bone in dealing with  this mess.  All the while, she never led on to the fact she was suffering and in immense pain.  Her service was beautiful as I would expect and there were tons of people in attendance.  I was able to say good bye to her and thank her again for everything she has done for me and all the strength she has given to me.  I don't know if she ever quite knew how much she meant to me.  I will miss her more than I can put into words. 

I turned 32 last week - the day of Alison's funeral.  Glad to have come to another birthday but felt a little guilty celebrating too.  With cancer all you can do is look forward to a birthday.  They become even more special.   I know Alison would have wanted me to celebrate also.  We celebrated with a wine tour to Fredericksburg in a Hummer Limo.  It was great fun! 

I wear my pink ribbon even more proudly than I ever have.  Proud of the family I have made in this process and the friends I have made. I feel VERY lucky to have developed the bond I did with Alison - even if it was for a short time.  I'm proud that Alison fought for as long as she did and gave it her all.  She's with her mom now and leaves behind a devoted husband, her 4 yr old son, and lots of family and friends.

Here are the tattoos Doug and I got a few months ago:  Unfortunately noone is immune to this disease and all we can do is raise awareness and money for research. 

Yesterday I received a call from another friend.  He had another friend approaching a double mastectomy todday.  He gave me her number and I called her.  I needed to give her a comforting voice as that is what I had.  The mastectomy is such a scary ordeal and all you need is someone who understands.  I look forward to meeting her in person very soon once healed.

I'm saying goodbye to 2011 in style and with mixed emotion.  This was the year of the ultimate fight of my life.  This year tested every relationship I have made along the way with God, my parents, my children, my husband, and my friends.  It's been a roller coaster of ups and downs and learning and dealing.  My body has been put to the test physically and emotionally.  But on a brighter side, I have learned so much about myself!  I have learned that I am stronger mentally and physically than I EVER thought I was.  I also found a calling and met some incredible people.  I have made some LONG lasting friendships that I will forever be thankful for.  However, I'm READY to bring in 2012! 

Thank you again for an amazingly CRAZY BEAUTIFUL year and all of your support and strength through it all! 

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart"

Christmas Magic and Our Elf

Christmas is upon us!  The chilly wet weather makes it feel even closer.  I brought out the Uggs and dusted them off and my feet have lived in them. 

This year we adopted a New Tradition.  This little Elf arrived at our home.  Austin and Addie thought about the names Speedy and Clyde and eventually settled on the name Speedy.  If you don't know the story "Elf on a Shelf", it is about an Elf who has CHRISTMAS MAGIC and while the kids are sleeping he travels to the North Pole and reports to Santa.  Before you wake up, the Elf is back and usually in a different hiding place (if he hasn't forgotten). 

Our Speedy is a clever one.  He likes to come up with fun activities.  Here are some recent photos below.  He's got some other hiding places he is working on until we leave for Boston.

 
I had breakfast with my dad today.  He asked "what was your biggest fear in dealing with breast cancer?".  I immediately answered "death".  Scared that I wouldn't be around for my family, my friends, or be able to watch my children grow up.  After answering this I felt like I needed to explain. 

I explained to my dad that thinking about death was scary and so scary that I didn't share it with anyone.  I also told him that I feel somewhat fortunate to have experienced this.  This may sound crazy, but I am so happy that I see life and the world through a new set of eyes!  My visions are much more different than they ever were. 

My dad mentioned the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying".  Ever since chemo ended, that song has become my motto and when I hear it, I can't help but cry.  I was so suprised that he had heard it like that too! 

Heres the song if you aren't familiar with it.  It really sums up my feelings: Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw  I love to think about tomorrow being a gift, forgivness, Love, being KIND, and flying out of your comfort zone. It also reiterates that having that chance to live like you were dying is a really good feeling. 

So ... It is with GREAT EXCITEMENT when I say - I am going back to school!!  Yes, 10 years later and 32 years old.  I am pumped, excited, nervous, and SO thankful for the opportunity!  Since my views of life have changed so drastically lately, I had a thought recently that the reason this all happened to me this year was so that I could help other women facing this terribly crazy disease and offer them hope and peace as they cope and deal.  I'll be going after my a nursing degree so that I can be a certified Registered Nurse.  This will probably take 3-4 years to do, but I'm committed!

Alison Thibert was my rock when I was diagnosed.  She was my back bone and my sounding board.  She listened to all of my thoughts (even as crazy as they were) and told me what to expect. She met me for drinks over lunch and remained calm when I freaked out.  I hope to continue to pass this to other women that may be fearful and at the same time have others confide in me because "I get it".  The family surrounding breast cancer is an absolute miracle and I couldn't have managed with out them.  Meeting new people on this journey has made things a lot easier on me.  My fears have subsided tremendously.  I was embarrassed and ashamed that I "caught" the breast cancer at first. I now know it isn't about that.  We are only given what we can handle and put in this situation to help anyone else along the way that may be terrified and feeling those initial feelings after diagnosis.

December 2011

A few weeks ago Doug and I headed out to Vegas.  It was a work trip but we definitely had some fun too!  I think I get better with gambling every year.  I sat at a Black Jack table for 4 hours and only lost $5 by the end of the night.  That's MY kind of gambling :)  We bowled, gambled, and learned a lot more about the vacation rental business we currently have. 

See what we've learned:  Vacation Rental Biz

We arrived back in Austin on Saturday from Vegas.  We hustled and bustled to get ready for my biggest party I've ever had.  We participated in the Race for the Cure and celebrated finishing it with a Champagne Celebration at my house.  It was a perfect day!  We had about 50 people do the walk with us.  Back at our home we had about 100 people come to celebrate with us.  A few survivors were here but most importantly my family and friends gathered to celebrate a beautiful day of life, triumph, and VICTORY!

If it were up to me (and i think it is), I plan to do this EVERY YEAR!  No pressure, lots of food, and GREAT company.

Here are some photos:

December crept up on me and I wasn't prepared.  Obviously I've had a lot on my mind this year.  After Thanksgiving, the shopping began and the schedule got over booked as usual.  We are hosting a baby shower for Laura Renfro this weekend and we have our annual Santa's Brunch.  So looking forward to it!

On Christmas Eve, we are leaving for Boston.  We are taking the kids and will be there for one week.  As much as I love going there, I often get home sick.  Christmas time tends to make me feel even more homesick.  BUT we haven't been to Boston for Christmas in 5 years so it's time.  I'm looking forward to it this year.  I'm looking forward to seeing the neice and nephew who are Austin and Addison's ages.  Getting the Christmas gifts there has been somewhat of a challenge but I'm pretty good at dealing with challenging things now.

I've realized that life is SO short and you have to make the most of it while you are here.  My attitude has changed tremendously this year and I'm so greatful that I have the chance to experience my life through a different mind set.  I know that many of you can relate.

I was recently told by someone going through breast cancer and treatments that meeting me was "a life changing experience".  Wow, that's SO powerful to hear.  I met Courtney Lasater at chemo.  She had just been diagnosed in July.  She's almost finished with chemo treatments - YAYY!!  She called me the other day and told me that during one of her recent treatments, she saw a young woman who looked scared and because of what I had done for her, she decided to walk over and talk to her.  It's all about Paying it Forward.  And I want to continue to Pay it Forward for the rest of my life.

I have never been so anxious for the New Year.  I'm waiting patiently to move away from 2011 (the year of the breast cancer diagnosis) and into 2012 where my hair will be here and I can continue to make a difference in others.  I look forward to my healthy life and spending time OUT of the hospital and dr appts.  It's gonna be a GOOD year!