Post Surgery - It's been almost 2 weeks since my surgery. It's been a painful recovery - physically and emotionally. Doug (who we will call Dr Byron) has taken such good care of me and even sets his alarm to give me my pain meds so that we stay on top of them. He created this handy spreadsheet that lists all of my meds along with doses and times. It's even on a clip board! Dr Byron has been awesome even while he is behind on SO much sleep!!
Seton Hospital was wonderful! The delivery people said I had the most flowers of anyone there. My room was FILLED with beautiful flowers, balloons, and magazines - Thank you to all of you! My nurses were very friendly - even the guy I chewed out after I arrived to my room post surgery. Poor guy - he was there to make sure I got in o.k and all I could do was bitch about how my room wasn't big enough :) David ended up pulling some strings and got me into a suite but I was already too comfortable in my room and the thought of how painful moving would be kept me there. I aplogized to my nurse when we left - luckily, he understood.
Recovery is going well and I am moving right on track. Lots have asked about chemo, radiation and further treatment. These are all things I am continuing to educate myself about. My appt with my Oncologist is on Wednesday so I'll know more then. I am hoping and praying that minimal treatment is needed - afterall, the malignant tumor was taken with "wide clear margins and there was no lymphnode involvement". Those are great words!!
I have so many people in my life to be thankful for. Thank you Mom and David for taking such good care of the kiddos. Thank you Tina for being such a fantastic organizer and sending updates during my surgery and letting me borrow your IPAD. And thanks to the IPAD - I am now addicted to Scrabble. Thank you to ALL of our wonderful friends and family members that have sent flowers and gifts, brought lunches and dinners and cookies, and have called and emailed to check up on me!
I've already gained 4 lbs since this thing started. I cant WAIT to get back to the courts with my tennis coaches and tennis friends. Unfortunately, I still have a while before that can happen. My muscles have been tampered with and its possible that I will need some help with getting my strength back. Tennis has always been a great stress reliever for me and I am used to playing 4 times a week! Soon enough, soon enough!!
Today is already the last day of the month! Where did February go? I have so much work to do and unfortunately time doesn't stop or slow down because you are down. Everything moves right along and it seems to move even faster when you aren't prepared. All I can do is what I can do... everything else will have to wait its turn. You've heard "don't sweat the small stuff" and I've never really been able to relate ... till now.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Friday, Feb 11
I had a great time with my friend last night. It was wonderful sharing a margarita and a plate of Quesadillas while talking breast cancer and recovery! She's definitely a positive woman that was able put some scary things in perspective for me. I respect her bravery and courage more than I can put into words.
I came home feeling SO much better and for the first time I felt at peace with my diagnosis and upcoming surgery. I'm good - sucks to deal with it, but I am good.
This weekend we are headed to the lake for some fun times with the kids. Next week I'll be organizing, cleaning, and doing some laundry to get prepared. Turning the computer and phone off. YES!!
I came home feeling SO much better and for the first time I felt at peace with my diagnosis and upcoming surgery. I'm good - sucks to deal with it, but I am good.
This weekend we are headed to the lake for some fun times with the kids. Next week I'll be organizing, cleaning, and doing some laundry to get prepared. Turning the computer and phone off. YES!!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Wednesday, Feb 9
So ... my last blog may have terrified some and scared away others. Believe me when I say my anger and emotions have gotten the best of me. Thank you for understanding while I rant away through my writing as I jot down everything to not forget it. At some point, I'll print all of these entries out and look back when I think things are tough and hopefully be able to laugh about my emotional roller coaster and diagnosis. When I am cancer free this will all be just one battle I overcame with the help of my family, my doctors, and my faithful friends.
My bone scan and chest xray results came back - the results were NORMAL! I think that was better news to my mom than anyone. I was honestly tired of waiting around for test results so I kind of put that one out of my mind. I didn't even know what results I was hoping for - a negative something ... My mom insisted that I bug the shit out of the Oncologists office till I heard some results. I figured she was right since the first time she told me to call the dr, so I figured I had better listen to her this time too.
Had another couple of appts today at the hospital - everything is moving right along, although I wish it were going faster.
I also learned recently that there is a whole world of HELPFUL young (in 20s and 30s) breast cancer survivors here in Austin. The women I have spoken with have all been extremely positive and uplifting. It's a different type of comforting family that helps you cope, deal, and accept. In a strange way, I'm glad to know these fantastic women were strong enough to battle through it and even stronger enough to talk with me about my fears and their progress.
Tomorrow, I am having dinner with a woman my age that went through the exact thing. I am very excited to speak with a woman that knows this inside and out who isn't wearing a lab coat!
My bone scan and chest xray results came back - the results were NORMAL! I think that was better news to my mom than anyone. I was honestly tired of waiting around for test results so I kind of put that one out of my mind. I didn't even know what results I was hoping for - a negative something ... My mom insisted that I bug the shit out of the Oncologists office till I heard some results. I figured she was right since the first time she told me to call the dr, so I figured I had better listen to her this time too.
Had another couple of appts today at the hospital - everything is moving right along, although I wish it were going faster.
I also learned recently that there is a whole world of HELPFUL young (in 20s and 30s) breast cancer survivors here in Austin. The women I have spoken with have all been extremely positive and uplifting. It's a different type of comforting family that helps you cope, deal, and accept. In a strange way, I'm glad to know these fantastic women were strong enough to battle through it and even stronger enough to talk with me about my fears and their progress.
Tomorrow, I am having dinner with a woman my age that went through the exact thing. I am very excited to speak with a woman that knows this inside and out who isn't wearing a lab coat!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday, Feb 7
Some more good news! My full genetics test came back negative and the other tumor that was biopsied last week is BENIGN (non cancerous).
More waiting. My surgery is scheduled for Feb 16 and from what I know I will be pretty out of it for at least a week. My blog will slow down this week as I prepare to be down. House needs cleaning and organization and the laundry is piled high. My work has suffered and my email inbox and voice mail is completely full. I can relate this feeling to "nesting" - everything needs to be perfect, clean, and caught up so that I can relax next week.
My friend Tina came over on Friday. She insited on putting together a care calendar for dinner drop offs so that Doug and I are not worried about dinners and the kids continue to eat :). I know that people want to help us during this time so I agreed to this. It's hard accepting help from people especially when your an Independent Stubborn and Hard Headed woman like me. We are actually looking forward to it though.
Over the last week I have also felt a little uneasy using this blog. People come out of the woodwork when crisis arrives. I know that most of you care very deeply about my battle and recuperation. However, I also feel that some are reading this just to be able to have something to talk about later. I never want to be the topic of someone's dinne conversation. Please know that this is a private issue for me, my friends, and my family. Having to repeat my daily steps several times is exhausing for me, Doug, and my parents. If you can't tell, cancer plays mind tricks on you too...
Just another reminder and put anohter thought out there - PLEASE do your self exams. Quit smoking if you haven't and start taking cancer seriously! Cancer is not supposed to happen at 31, but unfortunately it did.
Thanks again for all of your prayers during this time. My Aunt Mari who has also battled breast cancer said it beautifully, "My prayer for you is to have peace, calm, and discornement as you make decisions about your treatment. Also for your sweet family, Doug, Addie, Austin, Margie and all who love you that they will be comforted as they support you".
Thank you Mari.
More waiting. My surgery is scheduled for Feb 16 and from what I know I will be pretty out of it for at least a week. My blog will slow down this week as I prepare to be down. House needs cleaning and organization and the laundry is piled high. My work has suffered and my email inbox and voice mail is completely full. I can relate this feeling to "nesting" - everything needs to be perfect, clean, and caught up so that I can relax next week.
My friend Tina came over on Friday. She insited on putting together a care calendar for dinner drop offs so that Doug and I are not worried about dinners and the kids continue to eat :). I know that people want to help us during this time so I agreed to this. It's hard accepting help from people especially when your an Independent Stubborn and Hard Headed woman like me. We are actually looking forward to it though.
Over the last week I have also felt a little uneasy using this blog. People come out of the woodwork when crisis arrives. I know that most of you care very deeply about my battle and recuperation. However, I also feel that some are reading this just to be able to have something to talk about later. I never want to be the topic of someone's dinne conversation. Please know that this is a private issue for me, my friends, and my family. Having to repeat my daily steps several times is exhausing for me, Doug, and my parents. If you can't tell, cancer plays mind tricks on you too...
Just another reminder and put anohter thought out there - PLEASE do your self exams. Quit smoking if you haven't and start taking cancer seriously! Cancer is not supposed to happen at 31, but unfortunately it did.
Thanks again for all of your prayers during this time. My Aunt Mari who has also battled breast cancer said it beautifully, "My prayer for you is to have peace, calm, and discornement as you make decisions about your treatment. Also for your sweet family, Doug, Addie, Austin, Margie and all who love you that they will be comforted as they support you".
Thank you Mari.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Poked, Prodded, and Very Sore - But Who's Complaining?!
Another emotional day yesterday. I find myself forgetting about my breast cancer often. Then out of the blue it slams me in the face and says "remember me, don't forget about me, If you run I will find you" (The "I will find you" part comes from Wedding Crashers and that is exactly what I hear in my head. ... I told you that cancer is CRAZY :)
I can't get rid of this annoying tumor running my life any faster and it is starting to drive me nuts! My MRI test showed the additional tumor - the one that my mammogram didn't show, the one that TWO different Ultrasounds didn't show. Thank God I have surgeons that are very thourough and want to make sure they have done everything possible and found everything in there before putting me under for surgery. Last week I felt myself be angry with my surgeon that he hadn't already done the surgery but again he is very thourough and patient - definitely nothing like me!
Yesterday the Radiologist Dr performed the MRI guided biopsy. That was downright uncomfortable. Laying on a table face down while being poked and prodded through the underside of the table and into the bottom of my left breast was painful. The numbing medicine hurt going in - they said the tumor was "pretty far back there" and that the "medicine and needle would hurt for a short amount of time while we tried to get to it". Once the meds were in and I was numb, the biopsy itself was performed by something that sounded like a drill. (I'll never hear a drill the same way again). The drill sound lasted for about a minute and they placed another metal chip in that area. The chip will tell the surgeon the area that has been biopsied. Then I had to go back into the MRI while they made sure they biopsied the right area. Thankfully they did - I was as still as I could possibly be even with the cold "contrast" going thru my IV.
I should have the news concerning this additional tumor today or tomorrow (hopefully today) although I don't think I can take one more giant punch in the face when I hear "it's cancerous". SO, we will hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
I'm very sore but the newly prescribed Ambiens and Xanax are definitely helping me keep my cool. I can't wait till this is all over!!
My surgery has been scheduled but I'll keep that quiet for now as I am hoping to move it up sooner.
Austin and Addie are at school today and Doug is at work. I have a ton of work to do and catch up on so I've got to somehow clear my mind once again and get 'er done.
Again, Thank you for ALL the flowers, cards, well wishes, phone calls, and every sweet gesture you have sent my way.
MANY HUGS!!
I can't get rid of this annoying tumor running my life any faster and it is starting to drive me nuts! My MRI test showed the additional tumor - the one that my mammogram didn't show, the one that TWO different Ultrasounds didn't show. Thank God I have surgeons that are very thourough and want to make sure they have done everything possible and found everything in there before putting me under for surgery. Last week I felt myself be angry with my surgeon that he hadn't already done the surgery but again he is very thourough and patient - definitely nothing like me!
Yesterday the Radiologist Dr performed the MRI guided biopsy. That was downright uncomfortable. Laying on a table face down while being poked and prodded through the underside of the table and into the bottom of my left breast was painful. The numbing medicine hurt going in - they said the tumor was "pretty far back there" and that the "medicine and needle would hurt for a short amount of time while we tried to get to it". Once the meds were in and I was numb, the biopsy itself was performed by something that sounded like a drill. (I'll never hear a drill the same way again). The drill sound lasted for about a minute and they placed another metal chip in that area. The chip will tell the surgeon the area that has been biopsied. Then I had to go back into the MRI while they made sure they biopsied the right area. Thankfully they did - I was as still as I could possibly be even with the cold "contrast" going thru my IV.
I should have the news concerning this additional tumor today or tomorrow (hopefully today) although I don't think I can take one more giant punch in the face when I hear "it's cancerous". SO, we will hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
I'm very sore but the newly prescribed Ambiens and Xanax are definitely helping me keep my cool. I can't wait till this is all over!!
My surgery has been scheduled but I'll keep that quiet for now as I am hoping to move it up sooner.
Austin and Addie are at school today and Doug is at work. I have a ton of work to do and catch up on so I've got to somehow clear my mind once again and get 'er done.
Again, Thank you for ALL the flowers, cards, well wishes, phone calls, and every sweet gesture you have sent my way.
MANY HUGS!!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wednesday, Feb 2
Yesterday morning we met my Oncologist for the first time, Dr Debra Patt at Texas Oncology. It was so nice to see a woman dr when I was once again told to disrobe. Over the last week and a half my own modesty has been put to the side - modesty is no excuse with breast cancer. She was nice, personal, a mother of 3 young children. I knew I could instantly relate. She game me all the time we needed for our questions and explained my treatment options. She will be my cancer doctor and the most important for the rest of my life.
She sent me for more lab work and other tests. My tests included a blood sample, a chest X ray, and a Bone Scan. The Bone Scan was definitely the most complex of the day. They inserted a dye into my vein then told me to go find something to do for 3 hours and to drink at least 2 glasses of fluid. I met Mom at Waterloo and enjoyed TWO Amstel Lights (liquid right)? I spent a couple of hours in a bookstore and went back for the Bone Scan. The dye is able to get into your blood stream and is able to detect if any of my bones have been infected by cancer. Hoping for another set of GOOD results.
I saw my skeleton - it's a pretty nice skeleton by the way. I asked Doug if he thought I had a skinny skeleton or a fat skeleton. Luckily, he said SKINNY :)
My first Genetics test results came in. It was negative. YAY! They sent off for an additional test but I have no doubt it will have the same results. This means it's not a genetic form and has less of a chance in showing up in my mom, my sister, or my daughter.
While killing time at the bookstore, I picked up a great book! It's called CRAZY SEXY CANCER. Even if you dont have cancer it's definitely worth the read - it'll give you some insight as to what young people with cancer are going through. The book is written by a 31 yr old woman diagnosed with cancer. She shares her story and tries to find some humor in it all. I read a lot last night before bed and before the Ambien took over and forced me to put it down.
I have an MRI and biopsy today. Biopsies are no fun and I feel like I am WAY too young to even know what a biopsy is! After that and depending on my pain amount, I'm going to turn off my phone, get comfy my couch, and enjoy American Idol with my family. American Idol is in Austin tonight - very excited!
She sent me for more lab work and other tests. My tests included a blood sample, a chest X ray, and a Bone Scan. The Bone Scan was definitely the most complex of the day. They inserted a dye into my vein then told me to go find something to do for 3 hours and to drink at least 2 glasses of fluid. I met Mom at Waterloo and enjoyed TWO Amstel Lights (liquid right)? I spent a couple of hours in a bookstore and went back for the Bone Scan. The dye is able to get into your blood stream and is able to detect if any of my bones have been infected by cancer. Hoping for another set of GOOD results.
I saw my skeleton - it's a pretty nice skeleton by the way. I asked Doug if he thought I had a skinny skeleton or a fat skeleton. Luckily, he said SKINNY :)
My first Genetics test results came in. It was negative. YAY! They sent off for an additional test but I have no doubt it will have the same results. This means it's not a genetic form and has less of a chance in showing up in my mom, my sister, or my daughter.
While killing time at the bookstore, I picked up a great book! It's called CRAZY SEXY CANCER. Even if you dont have cancer it's definitely worth the read - it'll give you some insight as to what young people with cancer are going through. The book is written by a 31 yr old woman diagnosed with cancer. She shares her story and tries to find some humor in it all. I read a lot last night before bed and before the Ambien took over and forced me to put it down.
I have an MRI and biopsy today. Biopsies are no fun and I feel like I am WAY too young to even know what a biopsy is! After that and depending on my pain amount, I'm going to turn off my phone, get comfy my couch, and enjoy American Idol with my family. American Idol is in Austin tonight - very excited!
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