I'm feeling great after my last surgery. I had my expanders replaced with implants and most importantly I had the PORT removed! I am feeling almost complete once again. My shoulder is still a little sore from where the port was but this surgery was easy compared to the last two. I'm continuing to heal and looking a little more normal than before.
My Post Op appt went well. Dr says everything looks good. Depending on the settling, we may need another minor surgery but sometimes that to be expected. I'm not worried - just looking forward to be complete!
I had two girls come over for a dinner party this past weekend. They are both my age and both breast cancer survivors. One is undergoing chemo and the other has completed 2 sets of chemo and just beginning radiation. Their husbands came also. Our husbands were able to relate and share their experiences - it was FUN
Football has started and Austin is doing amazingly well! He scored TWO touch downs this past Saturday. Addison started Soccer but she is mainly interested in the outfit and playing with her friends. Soccer isn't her thing, but she's enjoying what she is getting out of it.
I'm gearing up the bicycle ride this Saturday. The Mamma Jamma ride is THIS Saturday. I was just now able to obtain a bike. I'm excited!
Doug and I leave next Monday for the Bahamas ... wheewwwww .... can't come quick enough! Lots of work to do before then. I still don't have my crap in order. I'm pretty unorganized and continue to just fly by.
Please consider joining the Race for the Cure team. Check Em is our team name!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
WOW - Time Flies
It has been a GREAT month!! I finished up my chemo treatments earlier than expected. My last dose of the goods was on Tuesday, August 2. That was #13 of the entire chemo regimen. I finished 3 short of my original treatment recomendation.
I went in on August 2 for my regular infusion. I was administered and felt ultra crappy afterwards. I had tingling in my fingers and toes and even threw up once. When I went in for #10 (on August 9) my doctors asked me how I was doing. I explained the tingling sensation and my team of doctors decided we were done. My body has had all it can handle. I was NOT having chemo that day.
I wiped off the Lidocaine cream that I rubbed onto skin covering the port as I let out huge sobs. It's bitter-sweet. I thought I would be one of the few that made it the entire way through the treatments. I was wrong. When your body is tired, your body is tired. Apparently MOST people don't make it the full way through the treatments. As Doug and I sat sobbing and hugging, I couldn't help but feel a little scared. Scared that I hadn't had enough, scared that the treatments wouldn't do the job, and scared about not being breast cancer free.
My doctors assured me that day that I was done - no scans were needed, no more chemicals were needed, and I am breast cancer FREE.
My doctor walked me over to the Infusion room where all the other people being administered were lounging in their reclyners. She asked me "are you ready to graduate?". "HELL YA"!! We walked over where all of my infusion nurses stood. They threw confetti, passed out hugs, and gave me a certificate - COMPLETION OF CHEMO! The best part was that i got to ring the Victory Bell.
The Victory Bell is the bell in the infusion room. It is just how it sounds - when you are done with chemo you get to ring the bell. Cancer patients watch and listen in hopes of ringing that bell some day.
We left the office and called/texted our closest friends and family for an impromtu celebration. it was 11'oclock int he afternoon so it was lunch time. Stopped at the local bar and met up with Mom, David, Meredith, Jason, Kelly, and Timberli. We shared some tears and some champagne and good pub food. Several bottles of champagne later, it was time for a nap. That was such a different kind of nap ... such a relief to finally be done with chemo.
The kids suprised me with a cake they both made with love. The message - "Glad You're Feeling Better, Mom". They picked the cake mix, cracked the eggs, stirred, baked, and iced!
It's been a non stop celebration - Last Thursday I had dinner with some of my closest friends as we clinked glasses and said good-bye to cancer ... finally!
Friday I went to my moms after work. Doug was out of town so I thought having a glass of wine with Tina and Laura was going to be the highlight of my night. As great as that was, I was completely wrong! As we were sipping and chatting, I saw Tracie and Jamie come through the door. I wasn't expecting them but glad to see them. After a few jokes, Tracie said "We are taking you away for the weekend. Your bags are packed!".
I sat trying to figure out who was in on this suprise. Turns out, Doug had packed my bags weeks ago and this was all in the works. My mom, my sister, Jamie, Tracie, Laura, Tina, Nichole, Kelly, Courtney, and Brandy were all in on it. They had coolers packed, dinners figured out, and all the fun a group of girls could provide! We got in the car and headed for Lake Travis. Saturday morning we got on Jamie's parents house boat with our boat captain (Thanks to BRAD WARD) and cruised. My friends are so great and we are all extremely lucky to have one another!
I got home on Sunday afternoon after the best weekend ever! Doug returned safely from his trip to Playa Del Carmen. How great it feels to be completely loved by all of our family and friends!
More to come later - 3rd grade homework just arrived ...
I went in on August 2 for my regular infusion. I was administered and felt ultra crappy afterwards. I had tingling in my fingers and toes and even threw up once. When I went in for #10 (on August 9) my doctors asked me how I was doing. I explained the tingling sensation and my team of doctors decided we were done. My body has had all it can handle. I was NOT having chemo that day.
I wiped off the Lidocaine cream that I rubbed onto skin covering the port as I let out huge sobs. It's bitter-sweet. I thought I would be one of the few that made it the entire way through the treatments. I was wrong. When your body is tired, your body is tired. Apparently MOST people don't make it the full way through the treatments. As Doug and I sat sobbing and hugging, I couldn't help but feel a little scared. Scared that I hadn't had enough, scared that the treatments wouldn't do the job, and scared about not being breast cancer free.
My doctors assured me that day that I was done - no scans were needed, no more chemicals were needed, and I am breast cancer FREE.
My doctor walked me over to the Infusion room where all the other people being administered were lounging in their reclyners. She asked me "are you ready to graduate?". "HELL YA"!! We walked over where all of my infusion nurses stood. They threw confetti, passed out hugs, and gave me a certificate - COMPLETION OF CHEMO! The best part was that i got to ring the Victory Bell.
The Victory Bell is the bell in the infusion room. It is just how it sounds - when you are done with chemo you get to ring the bell. Cancer patients watch and listen in hopes of ringing that bell some day.
We left the office and called/texted our closest friends and family for an impromtu celebration. it was 11'oclock int he afternoon so it was lunch time. Stopped at the local bar and met up with Mom, David, Meredith, Jason, Kelly, and Timberli. We shared some tears and some champagne and good pub food. Several bottles of champagne later, it was time for a nap. That was such a different kind of nap ... such a relief to finally be done with chemo.
The kids suprised me with a cake they both made with love. The message - "Glad You're Feeling Better, Mom". They picked the cake mix, cracked the eggs, stirred, baked, and iced!
It's been a non stop celebration - Last Thursday I had dinner with some of my closest friends as we clinked glasses and said good-bye to cancer ... finally!
Friday I went to my moms after work. Doug was out of town so I thought having a glass of wine with Tina and Laura was going to be the highlight of my night. As great as that was, I was completely wrong! As we were sipping and chatting, I saw Tracie and Jamie come through the door. I wasn't expecting them but glad to see them. After a few jokes, Tracie said "We are taking you away for the weekend. Your bags are packed!".
I sat trying to figure out who was in on this suprise. Turns out, Doug had packed my bags weeks ago and this was all in the works. My mom, my sister, Jamie, Tracie, Laura, Tina, Nichole, Kelly, Courtney, and Brandy were all in on it. They had coolers packed, dinners figured out, and all the fun a group of girls could provide! We got in the car and headed for Lake Travis. Saturday morning we got on Jamie's parents house boat with our boat captain (Thanks to BRAD WARD) and cruised. My friends are so great and we are all extremely lucky to have one another!
I got home on Sunday afternoon after the best weekend ever! Doug returned safely from his trip to Playa Del Carmen. How great it feels to be completely loved by all of our family and friends!
More to come later - 3rd grade homework just arrived ...
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
4 More Treatments to GO!
It's been a busy, busy summer for us. Business is going well and we are keeping up with July being our busiest month of the year. It's good for our family but I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt a lot of times. While I get my work done, I'm just exhausted by the end of the day and hardly available for playtime with the kids or interested in holding conversations. My energy level is decreasing and my insomnia is becoming more of a problem. Sounds like an oxymoron and its hard to explain. My mind races but my body wants to rest. Still over committed and feeling compelled to pile more and more on. I'm working really hard on taking additional comittments on but sometimes I need those committments to take away the anxiety of this whole ordeal. weird when I say/write it.
We just got back from South Padre yesterday. We spent almost a week there. Got back just in time to be injected with the meds. I'm glad the week went fast as I am able to mark off one more day of chemo. I'm down to 4 - Only 4 more to go! Still scheduled to have my last dose on Tuesday, August 23. It's also my dads b-day that day ... I think it calls for a massive celebration!! Who's in?! :)
Padre was fun as always. Me, Doug, Austin, Addison, Kelly, Wes, Randi, Mom and David. I learned to play washers, we drank a ton, ate a ton, went out to hear a band for Kelly's 29th birthday one night, danced our hearts out, and most importantly - I was able to put my feet in the sand and play in the waves .... ahhhhhhhh ....
We celebrated Kelly's 29th birthday listening to a Funk Cover Band and then doing Karaeoke. Mom lasted till almost 2am! (Kids were back at the condo with David). I don't know if it was too much sun exposure or a horrible hangover from a Jolly Rancher Shot but I felt terrible the next day and gave a little back after a nice mexican breakfast :) ewwww ...
My chemo session today was better than usual today - It was quick and I slept the entire time! My favorite nurse, Pat, administered me today and for some reason she just makes it all not so bad. I fell asleep withing 5 minutes of the Benadryl flowing and woke up after the Taxol completed. Went and had lunch and then spent the next few hours in bed getting through a million emails. got a LOT of work on my plate tomorrow.
It's hard to believe I (along with all close to me) have been going through the breast cancer diagnosis for 6 months now. I look forward to to the end of summer and the beginning of fall and winter! The simple things - such as Thanksgiving have me more ready than ever!
We have the kids this evening - Mom and David are still living it up on the Island. We are taking them on a Bat Boat Cruise on Town Lake. The wonderful Wonders & Worries organizes it and invites all the parents and kids for the evening. This is a good time to visit with other survivors and their kids as well. If you haven't had a chance, please visit the Wonders and Worries website.
Off to pick up Addison from school and begin our funfilled evening. xxo - Mindy
We just got back from South Padre yesterday. We spent almost a week there. Got back just in time to be injected with the meds. I'm glad the week went fast as I am able to mark off one more day of chemo. I'm down to 4 - Only 4 more to go! Still scheduled to have my last dose on Tuesday, August 23. It's also my dads b-day that day ... I think it calls for a massive celebration!! Who's in?! :)
Padre was fun as always. Me, Doug, Austin, Addison, Kelly, Wes, Randi, Mom and David. I learned to play washers, we drank a ton, ate a ton, went out to hear a band for Kelly's 29th birthday one night, danced our hearts out, and most importantly - I was able to put my feet in the sand and play in the waves .... ahhhhhhhh ....
We celebrated Kelly's 29th birthday listening to a Funk Cover Band and then doing Karaeoke. Mom lasted till almost 2am! (Kids were back at the condo with David). I don't know if it was too much sun exposure or a horrible hangover from a Jolly Rancher Shot but I felt terrible the next day and gave a little back after a nice mexican breakfast :) ewwww ...
My chemo session today was better than usual today - It was quick and I slept the entire time! My favorite nurse, Pat, administered me today and for some reason she just makes it all not so bad. I fell asleep withing 5 minutes of the Benadryl flowing and woke up after the Taxol completed. Went and had lunch and then spent the next few hours in bed getting through a million emails. got a LOT of work on my plate tomorrow.
It's hard to believe I (along with all close to me) have been going through the breast cancer diagnosis for 6 months now. I look forward to to the end of summer and the beginning of fall and winter! The simple things - such as Thanksgiving have me more ready than ever!
We have the kids this evening - Mom and David are still living it up on the Island. We are taking them on a Bat Boat Cruise on Town Lake. The wonderful Wonders & Worries organizes it and invites all the parents and kids for the evening. This is a good time to visit with other survivors and their kids as well. If you haven't had a chance, please visit the Wonders and Worries website.
Off to pick up Addison from school and begin our funfilled evening. xxo - Mindy
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Mamma Jamma Bike Ride - A Ride to Leave Breast Cancer Behind. October 1
My FUNdraising effort wheels are turning again ...
On October 1, 2011, I will be participating in a powerful event to help thousands of Central Texans diagnosed with breast cancer.
With hundreds of people, I will bicycle (eeek!!) through beautiful Central Texas in the third annual Texas Mamma Jamma Ride. Since the inaugural ride in 2009, the Mamma Jamma Ride has raised over $1,000,000 - necessary funds which stay right here in Central Texas. The money we raise provides direct care services to Texans diagnosed with breast cancer. Simply, your support will save and improve the lives of thousands of Texans. The money raised from the Ride stays local and the Beneficiaries are 11 local non-profit agencies involved with breast cancer.
Breast cancer affects all of us at some time or another. Over 515 Americans are diagnosed with breast cancer every day and 1 woman out of 8 is diagnosed with breast cancer over the course of her lifetime. These are terrifying statistics which is why I am committed to helping in every way possible.
Most of you know that I don’t ride a bike – I honestly hope to be able to stay up on a bike! By October 1, I will be 100% through with my chemo therapy – I plan to gain control of life and give back to those women less fortunate than me. I will begin to train for my first bike race while undergoing chemo.
Please also consider riding in this event! You can sign up with our team: TEAM BCRC (Breast Cancer Resource Center)
I have agreed to raise $500. . You can donate here if you are able: http://www.mammajammaride.org/site/TR/Ride/General?px=1125441&pg=personal&fr_id=1070 Click on SUPPORT MINDY. I'll add the website the Blog Main Page if you are unable to open it from here. I ask that you sponsor me as a rider and make a difference for some wonderful people who really need us.
Thank you in advance for your generosity. It means a lot to me, and to all of those individuals who receive help and support through the Texas Mamma Jamma Ride.
Thanks for considering!
Monday, June 20, 2011
My next treatment is tomorrow. I find myself anxiously awaiting each and every Tuesday that comes along. I don't so much dread them anymore - I actually look forward to getting to it and getting through it. The Taxol chemo is definitely not as hard on me as the AC was. Compared to the first 3 months of chemo, this feels like a tiny cold.
The doctors reduced the amount of steroid given this last round and will reduce it a little more at tomorrow's treatment. The steroid makes me pretty irratible and makes my head hurt. This should also lessen the amount of time sitting in the reclyner.
My parents keep the kids every Monday and Tuesday night. It's extremely helpful - we get a date night every Monday these days! No big plans tonight ... Cooking dinner, watching Weeds (our new favorite show) and doing a straighten up around the house. I've rehired our cleaning people! Tomorrow we'll come home to a clean house and few Netflix movies I just received. Then I sleep for about a day.
My eyelashes and eyebrows are slowly fading which has been another adjustment but I think I am handling it better than the loss of my long hair. Maybe it's wishful thinking and possibly too much info - but I have shaved my legs a couple of times over the last few weeks. This means my HAIR IS GROWING BACK ... right ?!?! I heard your eyelashes and eyebrows were the last to go and with the new growth, hopefully they won't fully disappear. My dr prescribed me some Latisse. I apply it every night to my eyelids - I think it's helping.
Doug and I took the kids to the San Antonio JW Marriott over the weekend for a quick Father's Day getaway. We had an awesome time! They have a water park with big slides and a lazy river that we spent all day in. I was at the bar standing in line when a woman approached me. She said "are you bald under there". (I was wearing a bandana). I put up a huge front and gave her an attitude-filled "yah". She immediately got teary and said "i'm a breast cancer survivor of 3 years and here for my anniversary". I felt ease pour over my body and let my guard down as I talked with her for awhile. I guess you can "spot" us - I never wanted to feel like that but it is what it is. Her hair was completely grown back, she showed me her port scar, and told me that she had a 2 year old when she was diagnosed. She was 39 when she found out. She felt my pain as we discussed treatments. I almost didn't notice my bare feet burning on the pavement until she took some of her cold water and poured them on my toes. She wanted to take care of me and her courage was contagious.
After tomorrow I'll have NINE more treatments left. Single digits and feeling close to being done with this shit. Hoping and praying that the next 2 months move quickly for me and that they are just as easy as this last month has been.
The doctors reduced the amount of steroid given this last round and will reduce it a little more at tomorrow's treatment. The steroid makes me pretty irratible and makes my head hurt. This should also lessen the amount of time sitting in the reclyner.
My parents keep the kids every Monday and Tuesday night. It's extremely helpful - we get a date night every Monday these days! No big plans tonight ... Cooking dinner, watching Weeds (our new favorite show) and doing a straighten up around the house. I've rehired our cleaning people! Tomorrow we'll come home to a clean house and few Netflix movies I just received. Then I sleep for about a day.
My eyelashes and eyebrows are slowly fading which has been another adjustment but I think I am handling it better than the loss of my long hair. Maybe it's wishful thinking and possibly too much info - but I have shaved my legs a couple of times over the last few weeks. This means my HAIR IS GROWING BACK ... right ?!?! I heard your eyelashes and eyebrows were the last to go and with the new growth, hopefully they won't fully disappear. My dr prescribed me some Latisse. I apply it every night to my eyelids - I think it's helping.
Doug and I took the kids to the San Antonio JW Marriott over the weekend for a quick Father's Day getaway. We had an awesome time! They have a water park with big slides and a lazy river that we spent all day in. I was at the bar standing in line when a woman approached me. She said "are you bald under there". (I was wearing a bandana). I put up a huge front and gave her an attitude-filled "yah". She immediately got teary and said "i'm a breast cancer survivor of 3 years and here for my anniversary". I felt ease pour over my body and let my guard down as I talked with her for awhile. I guess you can "spot" us - I never wanted to feel like that but it is what it is. Her hair was completely grown back, she showed me her port scar, and told me that she had a 2 year old when she was diagnosed. She was 39 when she found out. She felt my pain as we discussed treatments. I almost didn't notice my bare feet burning on the pavement until she took some of her cold water and poured them on my toes. She wanted to take care of me and her courage was contagious.
After tomorrow I'll have NINE more treatments left. Single digits and feeling close to being done with this shit. Hoping and praying that the next 2 months move quickly for me and that they are just as easy as this last month has been.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
5 down - 11 more to go
It was a LONG day today ... a different concoction of drugs. I had an appointment with my Oncologist first to discuss any new issues and discuss side effects of my newest chapter during these last 3 months of chemo.
I showed her a few brown spots, kind of like freckles, on my hand and asked if she knew what it was from. I let her know that my first job was working at Sonic and when I cut the limes, I got the same type of marks on my hands. Apparently she worked at Sonic too as her first job so she was familiar with the lime marks. Anyway, its chemo stuff and will go away once chemo is over. Only I notice it so it's not that big of a deal and really not that visible.
I've also gotten really tan in the last few weeks. She mentioned this too and reminded me to be really careful in the sun. Find the shade, wear sunblock, blah blah blah.... By the way I LOVE the sun and LOVE the water. But I know its important so I will do my best. Something in the meds leave you pretty exposed to the sun.
The nurse accessed my port and for the first time it didn't hurt! My new tube of Lidocain worked. Wheww! It normally takes Doug and my oncologist to hold my hand while I squeeze hard and cry. And it takes the nurse extra effort to hold me still to get a good blood line. But, I handled it well and didn't shed a tear.
Then it was time to head to the "other side" or the Infusion Room. I was called back and assigned a reclyner this time. Usually I get to pick. Since my appts are early in the morning I usually have one of the first picks. I chose a spot in the back, next to the window, and with my own TV. This time I got the front of the room and was forced to watch the news.
Luckily, I was assigned to my favorite nurse and she began administering the drugs. She explained that since this was a new drug and there are tons scary side effects so she wanted to be able to watch me the whole time. Back pain, cramps, and shortness of breath were the main ones. And of course this drug also carries hot flashes, heart burn, icky stomach feelings, and fatigue. She said my hair may start to grow back with the Taxol - she said she's seen it happen. Wishful thinking?? Possibly - but I'll take all the good news I can get. First the saline dripped through the tubes and into my port to clear the line. Then the nausea medicine followed by a dose of Benadryl, a steroid, and finally the Taxol. The taxol was administered very slow just to make sure I handled it o.k.
I handled the Taxol well. I was just super antsy because I was tired of sitting. The Benadryl made me sleepy. I put on my huge, oversized sunglasses and tried to catch some z's. I was awaken by two men sitting next to me that seemed to be competing in a snoring contest. I was also asked to have my blood pressure taken several times .... so sleep wasn't an option for me.
It was over by 2:30 and the nurse told me I may experience my first hot flash on the way home. I didn't, but I did tell Doug that I wanted to go swimming ... maybe that was the beginning of a hot flash. On the way home, I slept and when we got home I took a two hour nap. I woke up sweating - there's my first hot flash.
It's been a busy last few weeks. Things don't slow down for me and I am still having a problem over committing myself. We had Austin's birthday part at the skate rink on Sunday and then invited some of his friends over to go swimming. We got out of the pool at 9pm so it was a late day. We had a blast skating though! I highly suggest you put on a pair of roller skates if you haven't done so in the last 10 years. It feels great to feel like a kid again.
Addison started swimming also (more like dog paddling and floundering around) - so I enrolled her in swim lessons. She loves it! I also signed her up for soccer. Doug will coach and her first game will be sometime in September. It seems young but Austin was playing when he was 3. Regardless, it'll be really cute and she's really excited to have her dad coach and play with her best friend!
A couple of weeks ago I woke up with the smell of chemo in nose (another side effect). I couldn't get ride of it. I tried taking shower, blowing my nose, and just not thinking about it. That didn't help. My nurse suggested Lemon Drops or anything mint to take away the smell. Apparently this is normal. It's a hospital, cleaning, burning type of smell. So naturally, I booked a trip for mine and Doug's anniversary. We will be heading for the Bahamas for 6 nights in October. As soon as I booked this trip, my nose cleared and I haven't smelled the chemo since! I now have something to look forward to in the near future - I can almost smell the Carribean, white sands, and fruity coctails.
I also over came a huge fear in the last two weeks. It has been a pretty big deal and a huge accomplishment on my part. We were asked to go floating the river in New Braunsfels over Memorial Weekend. My first response was no. How could I? I wear synthetic hair that cannot get wet?! I was sure to be thrown off my tube, slammed into a tree, and lose and ruin my hair. Our very good friends, The Murray's, sent me a text. Wes said put a bandanna on and we won't take no for an answer. So - I went to Michaels and bought several bandannas in black, white, blue, and pink. I put one one and tried the grocery store first. No funny looks suprisingly. Then I tried the bandanna at our neighborhood pool around Austin's friends. No funny looks.... SO I said YES - we would go floating! I put the bandanna on and I felt so much weight fall off my shoulders. Our other friends that we floated with wore bandannas as well. It felt great! There is nothing better than having friends that love you enough to not judge.
Since then, I haven't worn my hair much at all. Doug and I joke often about how our GIVE A SHIT METER is close to empty - if not completely empty. The litttle things don't phase me and I have an attitude of someone that I have never known before. Don't get me wrong - I love to hang out with my friends, listen to them bitch about their husbands, drink wine and talk dirty diapers. But on the other hand, I don't have the patience for conversations regarding bad hair days - that's just me right now ...
I have also sat down several times to complete my thank you cards. I'm trying to write thank you cards from February after my hospital visit and initial surgery. Everytime I do I start to feel sick to my stomach. I don't knwo what it is, but my stomach gets in knots and this horrible feeling comes over me. I have decided to wait until my treatments are over. I'll go ahead and apologize now - you will receive one in October :) Thanks for understanding.
So as of today, I have 5 down and 11 more treatments to go. Hopefully these 11 move quickly. They really should as they are weekly.
Thanks for reading and staying interested in my life. xxo - Mindy
I showed her a few brown spots, kind of like freckles, on my hand and asked if she knew what it was from. I let her know that my first job was working at Sonic and when I cut the limes, I got the same type of marks on my hands. Apparently she worked at Sonic too as her first job so she was familiar with the lime marks. Anyway, its chemo stuff and will go away once chemo is over. Only I notice it so it's not that big of a deal and really not that visible.
I've also gotten really tan in the last few weeks. She mentioned this too and reminded me to be really careful in the sun. Find the shade, wear sunblock, blah blah blah.... By the way I LOVE the sun and LOVE the water. But I know its important so I will do my best. Something in the meds leave you pretty exposed to the sun.
The nurse accessed my port and for the first time it didn't hurt! My new tube of Lidocain worked. Wheww! It normally takes Doug and my oncologist to hold my hand while I squeeze hard and cry. And it takes the nurse extra effort to hold me still to get a good blood line. But, I handled it well and didn't shed a tear.
Then it was time to head to the "other side" or the Infusion Room. I was called back and assigned a reclyner this time. Usually I get to pick. Since my appts are early in the morning I usually have one of the first picks. I chose a spot in the back, next to the window, and with my own TV. This time I got the front of the room and was forced to watch the news.
Luckily, I was assigned to my favorite nurse and she began administering the drugs. She explained that since this was a new drug and there are tons scary side effects so she wanted to be able to watch me the whole time. Back pain, cramps, and shortness of breath were the main ones. And of course this drug also carries hot flashes, heart burn, icky stomach feelings, and fatigue. She said my hair may start to grow back with the Taxol - she said she's seen it happen. Wishful thinking?? Possibly - but I'll take all the good news I can get. First the saline dripped through the tubes and into my port to clear the line. Then the nausea medicine followed by a dose of Benadryl, a steroid, and finally the Taxol. The taxol was administered very slow just to make sure I handled it o.k.
I handled the Taxol well. I was just super antsy because I was tired of sitting. The Benadryl made me sleepy. I put on my huge, oversized sunglasses and tried to catch some z's. I was awaken by two men sitting next to me that seemed to be competing in a snoring contest. I was also asked to have my blood pressure taken several times .... so sleep wasn't an option for me.
It was over by 2:30 and the nurse told me I may experience my first hot flash on the way home. I didn't, but I did tell Doug that I wanted to go swimming ... maybe that was the beginning of a hot flash. On the way home, I slept and when we got home I took a two hour nap. I woke up sweating - there's my first hot flash.
It's been a busy last few weeks. Things don't slow down for me and I am still having a problem over committing myself. We had Austin's birthday part at the skate rink on Sunday and then invited some of his friends over to go swimming. We got out of the pool at 9pm so it was a late day. We had a blast skating though! I highly suggest you put on a pair of roller skates if you haven't done so in the last 10 years. It feels great to feel like a kid again.
Addison started swimming also (more like dog paddling and floundering around) - so I enrolled her in swim lessons. She loves it! I also signed her up for soccer. Doug will coach and her first game will be sometime in September. It seems young but Austin was playing when he was 3. Regardless, it'll be really cute and she's really excited to have her dad coach and play with her best friend!
A couple of weeks ago I woke up with the smell of chemo in nose (another side effect). I couldn't get ride of it. I tried taking shower, blowing my nose, and just not thinking about it. That didn't help. My nurse suggested Lemon Drops or anything mint to take away the smell. Apparently this is normal. It's a hospital, cleaning, burning type of smell. So naturally, I booked a trip for mine and Doug's anniversary. We will be heading for the Bahamas for 6 nights in October. As soon as I booked this trip, my nose cleared and I haven't smelled the chemo since! I now have something to look forward to in the near future - I can almost smell the Carribean, white sands, and fruity coctails.
I also over came a huge fear in the last two weeks. It has been a pretty big deal and a huge accomplishment on my part. We were asked to go floating the river in New Braunsfels over Memorial Weekend. My first response was no. How could I? I wear synthetic hair that cannot get wet?! I was sure to be thrown off my tube, slammed into a tree, and lose and ruin my hair. Our very good friends, The Murray's, sent me a text. Wes said put a bandanna on and we won't take no for an answer. So - I went to Michaels and bought several bandannas in black, white, blue, and pink. I put one one and tried the grocery store first. No funny looks suprisingly. Then I tried the bandanna at our neighborhood pool around Austin's friends. No funny looks.... SO I said YES - we would go floating! I put the bandanna on and I felt so much weight fall off my shoulders. Our other friends that we floated with wore bandannas as well. It felt great! There is nothing better than having friends that love you enough to not judge.
Since then, I haven't worn my hair much at all. Doug and I joke often about how our GIVE A SHIT METER is close to empty - if not completely empty. The litttle things don't phase me and I have an attitude of someone that I have never known before. Don't get me wrong - I love to hang out with my friends, listen to them bitch about their husbands, drink wine and talk dirty diapers. But on the other hand, I don't have the patience for conversations regarding bad hair days - that's just me right now ...
I have also sat down several times to complete my thank you cards. I'm trying to write thank you cards from February after my hospital visit and initial surgery. Everytime I do I start to feel sick to my stomach. I don't knwo what it is, but my stomach gets in knots and this horrible feeling comes over me. I have decided to wait until my treatments are over. I'll go ahead and apologize now - you will receive one in October :) Thanks for understanding.
So as of today, I have 5 down and 11 more treatments to go. Hopefully these 11 move quickly. They really should as they are weekly.
Thanks for reading and staying interested in my life. xxo - Mindy
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
My Prayer side of it
I never thought I would be in this but I am doing o.k and managing. Thank everyone from the gifts, words of love and encouragement, and all of the prayers and nice thoughts sent my way. I realize that this situation could be worse.
I've never been much of the praying girl. I've always felt that praying was strictly for church-goers, which I haven't been (except for the occasional VBS Trip with Jamie or the Sundays with Laura). The only other times that I've been in the church setting were at all the weddings I've attended and been in. I guess I just assumed praying wasn't for those that didn't attend a Sunday mass. This may sound silly but I've never fully understood it - until now. All of this has changed and while I am still not the extremely religious type, I can truthfully and passionately say that I believe in the power of prayer. My aunt Mari said it best at the beginning of this process and I think about her words often.
I received a handemade prayer shawl from Tressa's church. It was so touching - I had to share the prayer attached to it:
Melinda and her mom and aunt also made a quilt - this is taken with me to my treatments to remind me of the great support from my closest, dearest friends. thank you!!
My mom and I sat on her patio the other day and we talked about how my friends, neighbors, family members and people I don't even know are praying for my returned health and full recovery. This is wild to me and only now do I get how many people breast cancer - my breast cancer has touched.
I find myself lost in prayer a lot. Call me selfish, but I mainly pray for my returned health and acceptance. I think once you mourn over something thats the only thing left. And that's how I have kept my mind sane at times. I think it's helping and I am almost there. I haven't cried over my hair or found myself completely obstructed by my diagnosis every day as I was a month ago. I feel so much stronger. Lately, I've been able to let out a good cry once a week on Doug's shoulder and then have found myself able to move on.
Last month and 3rd Chemo Treatment into this I felt terrible emotionally. The couple of days prior to my treatment are hard and the weeks of my treatments are worse. Even after 5 months of this crap, I still find myself saying I'm a crazy, hormonal, basketcase. My dr says my hormones have been completely affected and that it's completely normal.
I have also been a lot clumbsier than normal. I had lunch with my Dad and Gramma last week and I had to use the restroom. As I was finished and washing my hands I noticed all the urinals.... I opened the door quickly and noticed i was in the men's bathroom. Luckily there was noone else in there with me. I don't know how i would have explained that. I also fell down the stairs on Sunday while rushing to get Addison's tights and dance shoes for her dance recital. I hope the clumbiness will subside once the treatments are over as well. If not, i will be left mortified and bruised ...
We have had a busy few weeks. Addison turned 4 last week, we had our first Dance Recital and I started planning for Austin's 8th Birthday next week. We finished up Baseball. Lost in game two of the tournement, joined the swim team, and had our first swim meet. Austin placed in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of his races. Now that school is almost over and we are down to one sport, we will get prepared for summer camps - SWIM, BASEBALL, and his favorite FOOTBALL. I need a chauffeur so I can sip mimosas while I deliver austin to these camps :)
Rene - our friend and old babysitter is in town. She has been such a help to have around this week. The kids have enjoyed spending time with her but sadly she leaves again for Austrailia this weekend.
Two weeks ago I had blood work done. that's normal after treatments. My white cell count is good. i'm borderline anemic and lacking sodium. Steaks and Salt - mmm
Yesterday was my 4th Chemo treatment. I lost it several times in there. All for VERY good news. This was my last BIG Dose of Chemo treatments! No more of the lengthy days and tired weeks - hopefully. My next cycle will start on Jun 6 and will be every Tuesday for the next 12 weeks. The only hard part is being stuck with the needles. So - I am celebrating while laying in bed watching TV that I AM HALF WAY THROUGH!!!!!! Again, thanks for all the prayers.
Computer dying - gotta run.
I've never been much of the praying girl. I've always felt that praying was strictly for church-goers, which I haven't been (except for the occasional VBS Trip with Jamie or the Sundays with Laura). The only other times that I've been in the church setting were at all the weddings I've attended and been in. I guess I just assumed praying wasn't for those that didn't attend a Sunday mass. This may sound silly but I've never fully understood it - until now. All of this has changed and while I am still not the extremely religious type, I can truthfully and passionately say that I believe in the power of prayer. My aunt Mari said it best at the beginning of this process and I think about her words often.
I received a handemade prayer shawl from Tressa's church. It was so touching - I had to share the prayer attached to it:
Give this shawl the ability to comfort , the ability to hea, the ability to give strength where it is needed. May Mindy know that you are with her and that she is not alone. That she is cared for, loved and prayed for. That your loving arms are around her to protect her and heal her, whenever se puts this shawl on. Lord, thank you for the blessings that this shawl is given. Amen.
--By the Prayer Shawl Ministry of the Episcopal Church of the Holy Spirit, Dripping Springs
Melinda and her mom and aunt also made a quilt - this is taken with me to my treatments to remind me of the great support from my closest, dearest friends. thank you!!
My mom and I sat on her patio the other day and we talked about how my friends, neighbors, family members and people I don't even know are praying for my returned health and full recovery. This is wild to me and only now do I get how many people breast cancer - my breast cancer has touched.
I find myself lost in prayer a lot. Call me selfish, but I mainly pray for my returned health and acceptance. I think once you mourn over something thats the only thing left. And that's how I have kept my mind sane at times. I think it's helping and I am almost there. I haven't cried over my hair or found myself completely obstructed by my diagnosis every day as I was a month ago. I feel so much stronger. Lately, I've been able to let out a good cry once a week on Doug's shoulder and then have found myself able to move on.
Last month and 3rd Chemo Treatment into this I felt terrible emotionally. The couple of days prior to my treatment are hard and the weeks of my treatments are worse. Even after 5 months of this crap, I still find myself saying I'm a crazy, hormonal, basketcase. My dr says my hormones have been completely affected and that it's completely normal.
I have also been a lot clumbsier than normal. I had lunch with my Dad and Gramma last week and I had to use the restroom. As I was finished and washing my hands I noticed all the urinals.... I opened the door quickly and noticed i was in the men's bathroom. Luckily there was noone else in there with me. I don't know how i would have explained that. I also fell down the stairs on Sunday while rushing to get Addison's tights and dance shoes for her dance recital. I hope the clumbiness will subside once the treatments are over as well. If not, i will be left mortified and bruised ...
We have had a busy few weeks. Addison turned 4 last week, we had our first Dance Recital and I started planning for Austin's 8th Birthday next week. We finished up Baseball. Lost in game two of the tournement, joined the swim team, and had our first swim meet. Austin placed in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of his races. Now that school is almost over and we are down to one sport, we will get prepared for summer camps - SWIM, BASEBALL, and his favorite FOOTBALL. I need a chauffeur so I can sip mimosas while I deliver austin to these camps :)
Rene - our friend and old babysitter is in town. She has been such a help to have around this week. The kids have enjoyed spending time with her but sadly she leaves again for Austrailia this weekend.
Two weeks ago I had blood work done. that's normal after treatments. My white cell count is good. i'm borderline anemic and lacking sodium. Steaks and Salt - mmm
Yesterday was my 4th Chemo treatment. I lost it several times in there. All for VERY good news. This was my last BIG Dose of Chemo treatments! No more of the lengthy days and tired weeks - hopefully. My next cycle will start on Jun 6 and will be every Tuesday for the next 12 weeks. The only hard part is being stuck with the needles. So - I am celebrating while laying in bed watching TV that I AM HALF WAY THROUGH!!!!!! Again, thanks for all the prayers.
Computer dying - gotta run.
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