Monday, Jan 31

Addison woke up sick in the middle of the night.  I kept her home from school today.  Last week her school sent out a notice that the Flu was going around.  I really HOPE she doesn't have the flu. 

Working on getting 1099s out today and continuing to stay positive. 

I understand that it is hard to find what to say to someone with breast cancer.  I have no idea what I would say to myself.  Knowing that you are thinking of me and sending love my way is just what I need.  And I know that if you are reading this, you are doing that.  Believe me, I feel it. 

I have several reasons for writing this very public blog.  I'm not super secretive but there are some things about this process that I will not to devulge and will keep very close. My goal is to inform family and friends of my status and keep you updated with my appts to avoid repeating myself a hundred times.  I can't answer my phone or respond to every text.  I hope that you know I see them all and feel very loved.  Thank you again.

My other goal and probably the MOST important is to inform my young family and friends about early detection. I can't say it enough.  I've heard from a few already that they have done a self exam and some that have scheduled a mammogram.  This makes me smile! 

Thanks again for being so caring. HUGS!

Sunday, Jan 30

Update on last week's appt: No other tumor was found by ultrasound.  I saw two different doctors that determined nothing else was there.  My surgeon is requesting an additional MRI since that's where the second one was originally noticed.  Maybe that's good news?!  I'm due for SOMETHING good...

I also visited with Dr Nuesch at Texas Oncology.  He's the radiation oncologist and explained what radiation is and what it does should my surgeon decide that's what is needed. 

Laura, Jamie, Tracie, and Phillip came over on Friday.  It was great sharing laughs and not dwelling on what was inside of me.  On Saturday we had Austin's basket ball game - they did awesome and I'm pretty sure they they won!  Austin spent the night with a friend and my parents took Addison over night. Kidless night - :)

Doug and I received dinner (more like a feast) from my Aunt Kay.  She had cooked all day and brought over fantastic comfort food.  There was enough for 8 so we called my cousin Meredith and her husband Jason to come over to help eat.  After dinner we went to see the movie "The Fighter" with Mark Wahlberg.  That movie has definitely been added to my list as one of the best movies ever seen!

Today, the weather was perfect here in Austin - 78 degrees was the highest I saw in my car.  We had lunch outside and then hit Austin's football game.  They lost but played really well. 

I have more appts throughout the week with the plastic surgeon, the medical oncologist, a second MRI with possible biopsy, and a genetics counselor.  Hoping for some good results and hoping that genetics test shows up real soon. 

Thursday, Jan 27

WOW!  I am truly amazed by all the emails, voice mails, texts, and gifts!!  I feel VERY fortunate to have such a team of family members and close friends on my side.  The support and LOVE from everyone has been SO helpful during this time!

Not much to say for today in regards to Dr Appts.  I visited with my surgeon again now that I am less emotional.  I was able to take in some soothing words from him (as soothing as a surgeon can be).  Doug and I also met with the Radiation Oncologist at Texas Oncology.  I learned all about Radiation today!  Trying to continue to be educated in all areas of this as there are a million puzzle pieces to this ordeal.  My head is FULL of information from today's appts ...

Tomorrow, I have my 2nd Look Ultrasound and a possible Biopsy.  I'll be looking forward to tomorrow evening when some of my closest friends come over for dinner and drinks!

What day is it?!

Back to work - need to continue normalcy (if that's a word).

Appt to discuss additional treatments with Surgeon on Thursday (tomorrow).  Appt for another Ultrasound and MRI guided biopsy on Friday.  Appt with Plastic Surgeon on Monday.  Hoping for good outcomes!

Tuesday, January 25

Now I am angry.  I think my body has been pushed through every emotion possible.

I am wondering WHY the HELL women are supposed to wait till they are 40 to get a Mammogram?  Somwhere along the way I heard that Pres Obama (not to get politcal) has said that the age of women who qualify for Mammograms is now FIFTY.   

After all of my online research and looking through all of my literature, I found that it is now more common for a woman younger than 40 to get Breast Cancer.  I am in the 2% but it seems that everyone I talk to knows someone in their 20s or 30s that have been diagnosed!  WHY doesn't our insurance cover Mammograms, MRIS, and this Genetics test WITHOUT a "need" to?  Why do we have to be diagnosed before we can utilize the technology that was put here for us?

I went in for the 2nd look ultrasound and prepared myself for another painful biopsy.  Nothing was seen.  Doug and I drove around picking up MRI Results, ordering Pathology Results, and making appts for this week. 

Doug and I decided to go into "hibernation" for a few hours.  We turned off phones and went and had a nice dinner at Hudsons on the Bend.  Wow - that place is amazing!  My appetite came out and I ate the best meal I had ever eaten in my life!!

Monday, January 24

I met with Runi at the St David's Breast Cancer Research Center.  She is a Navigator that has been in the same place I am right now.  She was able to answer Cancer related questions and calmed some of my fears.  She also introduced me to a support group of young Austin women with Breast Cancer. PINK RIBBON COWGIRLS

I received the phone call from Dr Smith saying that my MRI picked up another area in the same breast!  I'm down right frustrated!  I made another appt with Dr OConnell for another Ultrasound to have her check out the area.  She couldn't get me in Tuesday.... Another day of WAITING ....

Needless to say, my Lumpectomy has been postponed.  More options of Treatment will be discussed on Thursday.

Slow Moving Weekend

Cancer is a HUGE waiting game.  It's confusing and millions of people are involved.  I was sad all weekend.  I think the possibility of this being a bad dream faded almost completely. 

I knew I had to sit Austin down and tell him.  That was probably the hardest part.  He is so big, though and took the news like a champ.  He had some questions for me and we shared a pretty big moment in his life and mine.

Austin had a basket ball game.  I went but felt like I was watching a horrible movie.  My eyes were blurry, it was loud, and I couldn't concentrate on anything else.  All I could think about was MRI Results and what steps needed to be taken first.  I can only think the worst and couldn't wait till Monday when I could once again talk to a dr or get some sort of results.

Completely sleep deprived I wondered around like a Zombie...