Another emotional day yesterday. I find myself forgetting about my breast cancer often. Then out of the blue it slams me in the face and says "remember me, don't forget about me, If you run I will find you" (The "I will find you" part comes from Wedding Crashers and that is exactly what I hear in my head. ... I told you that cancer is CRAZY :)
I can't get rid of this annoying tumor running my life any faster and it is starting to drive me nuts! My MRI test showed the additional tumor - the one that my mammogram didn't show, the one that TWO different Ultrasounds didn't show. Thank God I have surgeons that are very thourough and want to make sure they have done everything possible and found everything in there before putting me under for surgery. Last week I felt myself be angry with my surgeon that he hadn't already done the surgery but again he is very thourough and patient - definitely nothing like me!
Yesterday the Radiologist Dr performed the MRI guided biopsy. That was downright uncomfortable. Laying on a table face down while being poked and prodded through the underside of the table and into the bottom of my left breast was painful. The numbing medicine hurt going in - they said the tumor was "pretty far back there" and that the "medicine and needle would hurt for a short amount of time while we tried to get to it". Once the meds were in and I was numb, the biopsy itself was performed by something that sounded like a drill. (I'll never hear a drill the same way again). The drill sound lasted for about a minute and they placed another metal chip in that area. The chip will tell the surgeon the area that has been biopsied. Then I had to go back into the MRI while they made sure they biopsied the right area. Thankfully they did - I was as still as I could possibly be even with the cold "contrast" going thru my IV.
I should have the news concerning this additional tumor today or tomorrow (hopefully today) although I don't think I can take one more giant punch in the face when I hear "it's cancerous". SO, we will hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
I'm very sore but the newly prescribed Ambiens and Xanax are definitely helping me keep my cool. I can't wait till this is all over!!
My surgery has been scheduled but I'll keep that quiet for now as I am hoping to move it up sooner.
Austin and Addie are at school today and Doug is at work. I have a ton of work to do and catch up on so I've got to somehow clear my mind once again and get 'er done.
Again, Thank you for ALL the flowers, cards, well wishes, phone calls, and every sweet gesture you have sent my way.
MANY HUGS!!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wednesday, Feb 2
Yesterday morning we met my Oncologist for the first time, Dr Debra Patt at Texas Oncology. It was so nice to see a woman dr when I was once again told to disrobe. Over the last week and a half my own modesty has been put to the side - modesty is no excuse with breast cancer. She was nice, personal, a mother of 3 young children. I knew I could instantly relate. She game me all the time we needed for our questions and explained my treatment options. She will be my cancer doctor and the most important for the rest of my life.
She sent me for more lab work and other tests. My tests included a blood sample, a chest X ray, and a Bone Scan. The Bone Scan was definitely the most complex of the day. They inserted a dye into my vein then told me to go find something to do for 3 hours and to drink at least 2 glasses of fluid. I met Mom at Waterloo and enjoyed TWO Amstel Lights (liquid right)? I spent a couple of hours in a bookstore and went back for the Bone Scan. The dye is able to get into your blood stream and is able to detect if any of my bones have been infected by cancer. Hoping for another set of GOOD results.
I saw my skeleton - it's a pretty nice skeleton by the way. I asked Doug if he thought I had a skinny skeleton or a fat skeleton. Luckily, he said SKINNY :)
My first Genetics test results came in. It was negative. YAY! They sent off for an additional test but I have no doubt it will have the same results. This means it's not a genetic form and has less of a chance in showing up in my mom, my sister, or my daughter.
While killing time at the bookstore, I picked up a great book! It's called CRAZY SEXY CANCER. Even if you dont have cancer it's definitely worth the read - it'll give you some insight as to what young people with cancer are going through. The book is written by a 31 yr old woman diagnosed with cancer. She shares her story and tries to find some humor in it all. I read a lot last night before bed and before the Ambien took over and forced me to put it down.
I have an MRI and biopsy today. Biopsies are no fun and I feel like I am WAY too young to even know what a biopsy is! After that and depending on my pain amount, I'm going to turn off my phone, get comfy my couch, and enjoy American Idol with my family. American Idol is in Austin tonight - very excited!
She sent me for more lab work and other tests. My tests included a blood sample, a chest X ray, and a Bone Scan. The Bone Scan was definitely the most complex of the day. They inserted a dye into my vein then told me to go find something to do for 3 hours and to drink at least 2 glasses of fluid. I met Mom at Waterloo and enjoyed TWO Amstel Lights (liquid right)? I spent a couple of hours in a bookstore and went back for the Bone Scan. The dye is able to get into your blood stream and is able to detect if any of my bones have been infected by cancer. Hoping for another set of GOOD results.
I saw my skeleton - it's a pretty nice skeleton by the way. I asked Doug if he thought I had a skinny skeleton or a fat skeleton. Luckily, he said SKINNY :)
My first Genetics test results came in. It was negative. YAY! They sent off for an additional test but I have no doubt it will have the same results. This means it's not a genetic form and has less of a chance in showing up in my mom, my sister, or my daughter.
While killing time at the bookstore, I picked up a great book! It's called CRAZY SEXY CANCER. Even if you dont have cancer it's definitely worth the read - it'll give you some insight as to what young people with cancer are going through. The book is written by a 31 yr old woman diagnosed with cancer. She shares her story and tries to find some humor in it all. I read a lot last night before bed and before the Ambien took over and forced me to put it down.
I have an MRI and biopsy today. Biopsies are no fun and I feel like I am WAY too young to even know what a biopsy is! After that and depending on my pain amount, I'm going to turn off my phone, get comfy my couch, and enjoy American Idol with my family. American Idol is in Austin tonight - very excited!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, Jan 31
Addison woke up sick in the middle of the night. I kept her home from school today. Last week her school sent out a notice that the Flu was going around. I really HOPE she doesn't have the flu.
Working on getting 1099s out today and continuing to stay positive.
I understand that it is hard to find what to say to someone with breast cancer. I have no idea what I would say to myself. Knowing that you are thinking of me and sending love my way is just what I need. And I know that if you are reading this, you are doing that. Believe me, I feel it.
I have several reasons for writing this very public blog. I'm not super secretive but there are some things about this process that I will not to devulge and will keep very close. My goal is to inform family and friends of my status and keep you updated with my appts to avoid repeating myself a hundred times. I can't answer my phone or respond to every text. I hope that you know I see them all and feel very loved. Thank you again.
My other goal and probably the MOST important is to inform my young family and friends about early detection. I can't say it enough. I've heard from a few already that they have done a self exam and some that have scheduled a mammogram. This makes me smile!
Thanks again for being so caring. HUGS!
Working on getting 1099s out today and continuing to stay positive.
I understand that it is hard to find what to say to someone with breast cancer. I have no idea what I would say to myself. Knowing that you are thinking of me and sending love my way is just what I need. And I know that if you are reading this, you are doing that. Believe me, I feel it.
I have several reasons for writing this very public blog. I'm not super secretive but there are some things about this process that I will not to devulge and will keep very close. My goal is to inform family and friends of my status and keep you updated with my appts to avoid repeating myself a hundred times. I can't answer my phone or respond to every text. I hope that you know I see them all and feel very loved. Thank you again.
My other goal and probably the MOST important is to inform my young family and friends about early detection. I can't say it enough. I've heard from a few already that they have done a self exam and some that have scheduled a mammogram. This makes me smile!
Thanks again for being so caring. HUGS!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, Jan 30
Update on last week's appt: No other tumor was found by ultrasound. I saw two different doctors that determined nothing else was there. My surgeon is requesting an additional MRI since that's where the second one was originally noticed. Maybe that's good news?! I'm due for SOMETHING good...
I also visited with Dr Nuesch at Texas Oncology. He's the radiation oncologist and explained what radiation is and what it does should my surgeon decide that's what is needed.
Laura, Jamie, Tracie, and Phillip came over on Friday. It was great sharing laughs and not dwelling on what was inside of me. On Saturday we had Austin's basket ball game - they did awesome and I'm pretty sure they they won! Austin spent the night with a friend and my parents took Addison over night. Kidless night - :)
Doug and I received dinner (more like a feast) from my Aunt Kay. She had cooked all day and brought over fantastic comfort food. There was enough for 8 so we called my cousin Meredith and her husband Jason to come over to help eat. After dinner we went to see the movie "The Fighter" with Mark Wahlberg. That movie has definitely been added to my list as one of the best movies ever seen!
Today, the weather was perfect here in Austin - 78 degrees was the highest I saw in my car. We had lunch outside and then hit Austin's football game. They lost but played really well.
I have more appts throughout the week with the plastic surgeon, the medical oncologist, a second MRI with possible biopsy, and a genetics counselor. Hoping for some good results and hoping that genetics test shows up real soon.
I also visited with Dr Nuesch at Texas Oncology. He's the radiation oncologist and explained what radiation is and what it does should my surgeon decide that's what is needed.
Laura, Jamie, Tracie, and Phillip came over on Friday. It was great sharing laughs and not dwelling on what was inside of me. On Saturday we had Austin's basket ball game - they did awesome and I'm pretty sure they they won! Austin spent the night with a friend and my parents took Addison over night. Kidless night - :)
Doug and I received dinner (more like a feast) from my Aunt Kay. She had cooked all day and brought over fantastic comfort food. There was enough for 8 so we called my cousin Meredith and her husband Jason to come over to help eat. After dinner we went to see the movie "The Fighter" with Mark Wahlberg. That movie has definitely been added to my list as one of the best movies ever seen!
Today, the weather was perfect here in Austin - 78 degrees was the highest I saw in my car. We had lunch outside and then hit Austin's football game. They lost but played really well.
I have more appts throughout the week with the plastic surgeon, the medical oncologist, a second MRI with possible biopsy, and a genetics counselor. Hoping for some good results and hoping that genetics test shows up real soon.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Thursday, Jan 27
WOW! I am truly amazed by all the emails, voice mails, texts, and gifts!! I feel VERY fortunate to have such a team of family members and close friends on my side. The support and LOVE from everyone has been SO helpful during this time!
Not much to say for today in regards to Dr Appts. I visited with my surgeon again now that I am less emotional. I was able to take in some soothing words from him (as soothing as a surgeon can be). Doug and I also met with the Radiation Oncologist at Texas Oncology. I learned all about Radiation today! Trying to continue to be educated in all areas of this as there are a million puzzle pieces to this ordeal. My head is FULL of information from today's appts ...
Tomorrow, I have my 2nd Look Ultrasound and a possible Biopsy. I'll be looking forward to tomorrow evening when some of my closest friends come over for dinner and drinks!
Not much to say for today in regards to Dr Appts. I visited with my surgeon again now that I am less emotional. I was able to take in some soothing words from him (as soothing as a surgeon can be). Doug and I also met with the Radiation Oncologist at Texas Oncology. I learned all about Radiation today! Trying to continue to be educated in all areas of this as there are a million puzzle pieces to this ordeal. My head is FULL of information from today's appts ...
Tomorrow, I have my 2nd Look Ultrasound and a possible Biopsy. I'll be looking forward to tomorrow evening when some of my closest friends come over for dinner and drinks!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
What day is it?!
Back to work - need to continue normalcy (if that's a word).
Appt to discuss additional treatments with Surgeon on Thursday (tomorrow). Appt for another Ultrasound and MRI guided biopsy on Friday. Appt with Plastic Surgeon on Monday. Hoping for good outcomes!
Appt to discuss additional treatments with Surgeon on Thursday (tomorrow). Appt for another Ultrasound and MRI guided biopsy on Friday. Appt with Plastic Surgeon on Monday. Hoping for good outcomes!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 25
Now I am angry. I think my body has been pushed through every emotion possible.
I am wondering WHY the HELL women are supposed to wait till they are 40 to get a Mammogram? Somwhere along the way I heard that Pres Obama (not to get politcal) has said that the age of women who qualify for Mammograms is now FIFTY.
After all of my online research and looking through all of my literature, I found that it is now more common for a woman younger than 40 to get Breast Cancer. I am in the 2% but it seems that everyone I talk to knows someone in their 20s or 30s that have been diagnosed! WHY doesn't our insurance cover Mammograms, MRIS, and this Genetics test WITHOUT a "need" to? Why do we have to be diagnosed before we can utilize the technology that was put here for us?
I went in for the 2nd look ultrasound and prepared myself for another painful biopsy. Nothing was seen. Doug and I drove around picking up MRI Results, ordering Pathology Results, and making appts for this week.
Doug and I decided to go into "hibernation" for a few hours. We turned off phones and went and had a nice dinner at Hudsons on the Bend. Wow - that place is amazing! My appetite came out and I ate the best meal I had ever eaten in my life!!
I am wondering WHY the HELL women are supposed to wait till they are 40 to get a Mammogram? Somwhere along the way I heard that Pres Obama (not to get politcal) has said that the age of women who qualify for Mammograms is now FIFTY.
After all of my online research and looking through all of my literature, I found that it is now more common for a woman younger than 40 to get Breast Cancer. I am in the 2% but it seems that everyone I talk to knows someone in their 20s or 30s that have been diagnosed! WHY doesn't our insurance cover Mammograms, MRIS, and this Genetics test WITHOUT a "need" to? Why do we have to be diagnosed before we can utilize the technology that was put here for us?
I went in for the 2nd look ultrasound and prepared myself for another painful biopsy. Nothing was seen. Doug and I drove around picking up MRI Results, ordering Pathology Results, and making appts for this week.
Doug and I decided to go into "hibernation" for a few hours. We turned off phones and went and had a nice dinner at Hudsons on the Bend. Wow - that place is amazing! My appetite came out and I ate the best meal I had ever eaten in my life!!
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